The Power of Trusting Yourself

By Paulina Aguilar

This article continues the conversation we began in previous issues. If you missed the earlier parts of this journey, I encourage you to go back and read them, because each step builds upon the next.

Over the last few months, we have talked about choosing ourselves, setting boundaries, and finding our voice. But there is another step that many of us as women struggle with long after we have done all those things, and that is trusting ourselves.

Unfortunately, many of us trust our friends, social media, and sometimes even the opinions of strangers more than we trust our own instincts. I know exactly what that feels like because I was, and at times I still can be, one of those women. The difference is that I now recognize it when it happens.

The truth is that growth never stops. We continue to evolve day by day, month by month, and year after year. Self-trust is very much like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it becomes. The less we use it, the more likely we are to depend on someone else to make our decisions for us.

How many times have you made a decision only to immediately call a friend to ask what she thinks? Sometimes it is something small, like choosing an outfit, accepting an invitation, or deciding how to respond to a conversation. Other times it is something much bigger involving your family, your career, your finances, or your future.

The interesting part is that most of the time, you already know the answer.

You know what feels right. You know what aligns with your values. You know what your heart is trying to tell you.

Yet before taking that next step, you hand your confidence to someone else and ask them to decide for you. Sometimes we ask our spouse. Sometimes we ask our adult children. Sometimes we ask our friends. By the time the conversation is over, we are often more confused than when we started.

I spent years looking outside myself for answers that were already inside me. What I did not realize at the time was that every time I handed my confidence to someone else, I was teaching myself not to trust my own voice.

One day I began noticing how often I did it. Something as simple as asking, “How do I look?” even when I already knew I looked perfectly fine. It seemed insignificant, but it revealed something much bigger. I was giving away small pieces of confidence every day and placing them into someone else’s hands.

Many of us do this without realizing it. We question our instincts. We second guess our decisions. We replay conversations in our minds and criticize ourselves in ways we would never criticize someone we love.

The truth is that we are often our own harshest judges. We notice every flaw. We remember every mistake. We focus on everything we could have done differently while overlooking how far we have already come. Yet when a friend calls us with those exact same concerns, we are often the first to encourage her, remind her of her strengths, tell her how capable she is, and remind her just how amazing she truly is.

We already know how to give praise and encouragement. We do it every day for the people we love. We remind them of their strengths. We cheer them on when they are struggling. We tell them they are capable, resilient, and worthy.

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned how to believe in everyone except ourselves.

That realization changed my life, and I hope it changes yours.

Confidence is not built because you have all the answers. Confidence is built when you learn to trust yourself, even when you do not know exactly how everything will unfold. Every decision teaches you something. Even the decisions that do not work out the way you hoped. Sometimes the answer is not perfect, but it is still the right answer for you because it moves you forward, teaches you something valuable, and helps you grow into the woman you are becoming.

There comes a point when you have to stop walking in everyone else’s shoes and start trusting your own path. Your journey was never meant to look like theirs. Your timing was never meant to match theirs. And your purpose was never meant to be measured against someone else’s success.

I still have moments when doubt shows up. The difference is that I no longer allow fear to make my decisions for me.

When you begin trusting yourself, something powerful happens. You stop needing everyone else’s approval before taking a step forward. You stop measuring your life against someone else’s timeline. You stop asking whether you are enough because you finally understand that you always were.

You begin trusting the wisdom that comes from your own experiences, your own victories, your own failures, and your own journey. Little by little, you stop looking around to see who is leading the way because you realize you are fully capable of leading yourself.

Because the woman you are becoming does not need to be rescued. She does not need permission. She does not need someone else to tell her she is capable before she takes the next step.

She already is.

And the moment you begin trusting yourself, something extraordinary happens. You stop waiting for life to happen to you and begin creating the life you were meant to live.

Not someone else’s life.
Not someone else’s path.
Yours.
That is where freedom begins.
That is where confidence grows.
That is where self-worth takes root.

And that is where your next step forward begins.
The beautiful part is that you do not have to wait for the perfect moment to start.
You are already standing in it.

Moment of Reflection

Ask yourself:

How many times am I the friend who encourages everyone, supports everyone, and empowers everyone, but forgets to empower myself?

This week, I encourage you to pay attention. Write down the moments each day when you encourage someone else and the moments when you encourage yourself.

Then begin adjusting the balance.
Because making yourself a priority is not selfish.
It is necessary.

Mantra

I trust myself.
I trust my instincts.
I trust the path I am building.
I am enough.

About the Author

Paulina Aguilar is an author, speaker, and transformational business mentor who empowers women to elevate their mindset, strengthen their leadership, and create meaningful personal and financial results. Through her work, she helps women recognize their worth, trust their voice, and step confidently into the life they are meant to live.

Editor’s Note

For more information or to schedule an appointment with Paulina, visit www.paulinaaguilar.com. For additional tips, inspiration, and behind the scenes content, follow Paulina Aguilar International on Facebook and Instagram.

Next month we will continue this journey as part of a 12-month editorial series inspired by her book Two Steps Forward and Never Going Back, available on Amazon. Each month explores a part of a chapter along with practical tools to help women strengthen their footing and step forward into their full potential.