By Barbara Britt
“Resiliency is something you do, more than something you have… You become highly resilient by continuously learning your best circumstance.” ~Al Siebert
Some people will spend their entire lives trying to develop plans so they don’t have to feel, fail, get hurt, or take a chance at being rejected. Resiliency is the ability to find enthusiasm, and excitement redirecting or starting over with fresh ideas, another route, inclusion of others who are different from us. Stop right now and take the time to evaluate your culture at home, family gatherings, church and business. Are you taking the responsibility for building a culture of resiliency in your children, family, and work?
Psychologists agree that some people are born with more resilience than others. But it is possible for all of us to develop more of it. Above all, I ask you to evaluate your ability to be resilient and build a culture around it. One of the key factors to look at is how we think about adversity. Are we looking at a negative event as something that cannot be changed or as temporary, that with new direction could be overcome or even used as a catalyst for our purpose? Resilience should not be considered as a reactive skill but one that is proactive and can enrich our lives.
“Resilient people are adept at seeing things from another person’s point of view.”
Resiliency is so important to our lives because it allows us to bounce back from unplanned happenings on our journey through life. By teaching our children and ourselves to be resilient we are able to adapt from situations and to grow from there. Resilient people—no matter what age—are able to not dwell on failures. They can acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes, and then move forward.
Children need adults to set expectations for them and to create an atmosphere of anticipated options. They will thrive when they receive unconditional belief in their abilities with high expectations of their creativity, compassion, and generosity. While working at Fort Walton Beach High School, as the Leadership Teacher, I learned what true resiliency really was. When I stepped back and put trust in my students, they pulled together and used everyone’s strengths to solve unbelievable situations: hurricanes, tornadoes, and poverty. They were able to create solutions that I have never seen the likes of since retiring from teaching and going into the business world. Not only could they solve problems, they did it in record time. I believe that this was possible because when solving problems, they would utilize everyone’s strengths no matter their age, financial status, or the color of their skin. Failure was looked as an opportunity for growth. They celebrated it, talked about it, then got excited, and used that lesson to redirect all the possibilities.
I remember watching the news on March 1, 2007 when Enterprise High School was hit by an EF4 tornado with 170 mph winds. The twister collapsed part of the science wing, third hallway, and new gym. Most importantly eight students lost their lives that Thursday.
During the newsbreak, I got a call from my Senior President of Leadership. “What are we going to do Mrs. Britt? How soon can we get supplies to them?” Supplies were delivered to Enterprise the next morning before 11:00 A.M. It was our last thousand dollars! Yet, when they got to their leadership classes, they came in with the power of resilience and started making a difference. By Wednesday, March 6, they had earned $6,000 to take to Enterprise High School unencumbered, plus 91 units of blood that the Mobile Blood Bank came and retrieved. And on March 9, three busloads of 75 students, 5 fathers with chain saws, a nurse, and police officer arrived at Enterprise Al, to make a difference.
My article next month will give you the steps to build resiliency, but it will come with a disclaimer: Watch out! Resiliency can be contagious.
Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly.
~ Robert F. Kennedy ~
