What is in a conversation? How well do you communicate?

–  A book recommendation from Flavia Mosci M.S

Rarely do we get a chance to focus on this subject.  Many of us are always looking for ways to improve ourselves and our lives; we like to plan for healthy diets, for the inclusion of exercise in our weekly routine, or for ways to de-stress from our busy schedules. We also try to improve in other areas, maybe on being more productive at work or perhaps discovering ways to increase our finances. Sometimes we might even think to ourselves: “how can we better enjoy our friendships or have more fulfilling relationships with our romantic partners?” 

In this article, I wanted to bring to the table something that we never think about too often. Yet it is something that is constantly affecting every aspect of our lives; our ability to communicate.   The truth is that no matter what we are doing in this life, we will always be using our ability to communicate. For some this ability is amazing, for others it is very deficient.  It is after all a subject that is not really taught in schools or even at home, yet, good communication can move mountains.   

The right communication can really improve your relationship and interactions with others, honestly it could really make or break relationships.  Communication can also open or close doors to approaching opportunities.  It could be a deciding factor between having that promotion, or getting that new job.  When we communicate through conversations, we are expressing our thoughts, feelings, values, and beliefs to others.  We are transmitting all types of information, and depending on which way we do it, we are constantly influencing the emotions of others through the words we say and how we say them.  Communication is of course not only giving information but also a huge part of it is receiving feedback during the same process.  We must be able to at the same token, understand others and receive their ideas.  From the time we wake up to the time we go to bed, we are having conversations; it is something very natural to us.  

This is a reminder from Estrella Montolio Duran who is an expert and an author in this field.  She is a professor of the Spanish language at the University of Barcelona.   She emphasizes that good communication is one of the most important human mechanisms towards our realizations and being happy.  In one of her books, Estrella touches on many important questions:  What happens when during a conversation people get misunderstood?  What helps two people to talk to each other without always interrupting one another?  What causes one person to constantly interrupt the conversation?  How can we during a conversation better express ourselves without being so defensive against verbal aggressions?  What is the best manner for us to be able to truly comprehend the words that others are expressing? How do we learn to fully listen to others while they are talking?  In this wonderful book which is written in Spanish, you will discover some amazing details about communication that could really serve to improve your life.  I also highly recommend for those of you who understand Spanish, to go to YouTube and type in the search box: Click here: (V. Completa. Como nos define nuestro lenguaje.  Estrella Montolio, linguista y profesora}.  In this video, you will be able to watch an amazing interview on this topic. I can honestly say that it was one of the most informative and interesting interviews that I have watched.  I learned so so much in that one-hour video that it will really benefit me throughout my life.