Shyness Be Gone!
By Debbie Dodge | Mary Kay Independent Sales Director | [email protected] marykay.com/Debbie.Dodge
Holiday parties… well, all parties… though fun, used to make me shake in my shoes. Stepping into a room, seeing strange faces, feeling my heart pound in my chest, wanting to pull a 180 and walk back out of the room… hoping that no one saw me enter were the norm. My shyness kept me safe and secure in my small world for way too many years, holding me back from reaching my full potential and stopping me from serving others. The crippling effects of low self esteem had taken their toll and I decided to rid myself of shyness… for my business and mostly for myself.
How did I change? Tiny steps and small wins. I was always amazed when I survived every little move out of my comfort zone. “I can do this!” I told myself. And you can too! All it takes to overcome shyness is a decision and guidance, plus a cheerleader if you’re lucky to have someone who will support your growth. I’m still growing, still stretching… because there are so many wonderful people I’ve met and whom I continue to meet… people who make me better.
In this column, I will share tips you can use in your everyday world to boost your confidence and combat shyness. Am I a therapist? Doctor? Professional coach? No, though I do have a Minor in Psychology! My knowledge comes from years of on-purpose study in this area, and lots and lots of practice. Experience is the best teacher, and trying these tips on a daily basis, even when they feel uncomfortable, will help you meet some amazing folks. As with anything, the more we do, the easier it becomes. Yes, you’ll feel awkward… scared… insecure. However, do you want to quiet your shy voice? Have you had enough like me? I’m cheering you on!
My first tip is to get you interacting with others, one baby step at a time. For one week, make eye contact with everyone you are in front of and smile. Don’t allow your eyes to divert away… and if they don’t respond with a smile, they may be in deep thought, having a bad day or struggling with shyness themselves.
Week two… make eye contact, smile, and say “Hi” to everyone you encounter. Again, some may not respond, and we must never take it personally. During week three, make eye contact, smile, say “Hi” and pay a genuine compliment. Perhaps she is a great mother, he opened the door for you, she has a cute haircut, he just gave you fabulous service… the possibilities are endless! Set a goal for how many compliments you plan to give out each day, and purposefully look for wonderful things to say to others. You will brighten the day of everyone you speak with.
Finally in the fourth week, and every day moving forward, offer your business card after paying your sincere compliment, saying “I’ve enjoyed talking with you… may I give you my business card?” If there is an interest in what you do, you can continue the conversation. Otherwise, wish them a great day and give yourself a big pat on the back for your courage. Remember, tiny steps and small wins are powerful and will make a difference. Let me know how you do!
