Must I go in there?
By Debbie Dodge
Let’s face it… whether you work in a business or not, you are always promoting yourself. Maybe you want your neighbors to support a local fundraising event or you’d like to help your friend who just started a new business in town, or you’re supporting a local candidate running for office by going door to door with flyers. In each of these situations, it’s required that you step outside your comfort zone and speak to strangers… scary for even the most confident people. Now throw into the mix that you’re an introvert, and it can be enough to freeze you in your tracks where you’ll do anything to avoid going out and talking with others!
I’m an introvert, but an outgoing one, so when I need to be in a social situation, I just get my head in the right place and step forth! Yet, I wasn’t always outgoing. I used to stutter and stammer when speaking to people I didn’t know, making it even worse. Because of my work, I needed to learn how to be with and communicate with others, so over time I came up with some personal strategies. I hope they are helpful to you.
- Make the decision to go inside: This seems basic, but I was very good at talking myself out of entering an event as soon as I drove up. Instead, I told myself “I’ll stay just 15 minutes.” And allowed myself to leave after that time if I wanted. Every time, I was just fine, and often, was the last one to leave!
- Prepare to be “others focused:” Before entering a room of people, most of whom I don’t know, I get myself in a head space where I’m “others focused” and ready to truly listen. I’ll ask questions to the person I’m speaking with, such as: What’s your name? Where do you live? How long have you lived here? What do you do? What do you enjoy most about what you do? Do you have kids or fur babies? What do you like to do on your days off? Where’s the best place to get sushi/Thai/Italian/breakfast/etc. People love to talk about themselves. It makes them feel important, which as the late Mary Kay Ash always said, “Everyone has an invisible sign around their neck saying, “Make me feel important.” We have the power to make every one we meet feel wonderful!
- Smile: I always smile in the rear-view mirror of my car before entering each event. This gives me positive energy. My smile also gives a positive impression to everyone I meet. If they don’t smile back, then they haven’t learned this simple tip or they are having a bad day and your smile can help.
- Set goals: When I know who’ll be at the event, I decide who I’d like to meet or connect with, and what I want to accomplish. Maybe my goal is to meet some potential clients. Or it could be to just have some fun and make a new friend or two!
- Self-talk: To help my confidence I think of myself as being welcomed wherever I go! I say “Hi” first when I meet someone because I know that many introverts like me are shy, and they are grateful if I’m the first to say hello. And here’s the cool part… the more people I say “Hi” to first, the easier it gets.
- Stay focused: This used to be tricky—as I tend to lack focus—though I’ve worked hard to stay in the moment and keep my focus on each person as I talk with them. When I really listen, it makes the other person feel important (see #2 above).
- Start with the right event: If this is new to you, perhaps a small event would be easier than a larger one. Yet for some, a larger event is easier because you can blend in. You decide which is best!
What I found is the more people I meet, the more enriched my life is. I learn from others and while listening to them I also learn about myself. I become braver which builds my confidence. I see that people have issues just like me, and when I greet them with unconditional love and acceptance, we both win. I’ll always be an introvert, yet I continue to grow more comfortable with every person I meet. And the biggest bonus? I’m a better person because of everyone who continues to come into my life!
Are you ready to embrace your introvert, step out of your comfort zone, and enrich your life through meeting others?
Debbie Dodge is an Independent Sales Director for Mary Kay Cosmetics, [email protected]
She is also a Member Specialist in the Greater Fort Walton Beach Chamber of Commerce, [email protected]
